Friday, May 22, 2009
I read a funny comment in fakeipl player's blog. Here it is....
A bookie calls Shane Warne before the match between Kolkata KnightRiders and Rajasthan Royals.
Cell phone rings. Warne picks up.
Warne : hello
Bookie : I am ….... Here.
Warne : yes tell me
Bookie : how is the pitch
Warne : ya dry and good for batting
Bookie : I want u to loose today’s match
Warne : impossible
Bookie : I will pay u $200,000
Warne : will be difficult to make KKR win.
Bookie : I will pay u $250,000
Warne : May be I could help you by reducing the margin… u tell by what margin we should win… will be much more easier
Bookie : no KKR should win
Warne : OK. I will try my best
Bookie : no make it.
Warne : OK.
Bookie : what will be the score
Warne : 200, if we bat first
Bookie : no make it 120
Warne : Impossible. Agarkar and Kartik are playing.
Bookie : 120 no change.
Warne : I will try
Bookie : OK. If KKR bat first
Warne : 110
Bookie : no make it 175
Warne : no u are asking too much. Ganguli is playing.
Bookie : OK make it $300,000
Warne : This would be the toughest match in my life
Bookie : OK, deal is made.
Warne : yes
Bookie : bye.
Match starts KKR bats first. KKR score only 120 in 20 overs. During the lunch break Shane’s cell rings.
Warne : hello
Bookie : its me. why did KKR score only 120. Our deal was 175.
Warne : What can I do ? They run one when they could run three, defend full toss, get out on wide balls, all catches and shots… I mean, if there is any… exactly directed to the fielders. But I will tell you this, Knight Riders are too good at this , I tried re-arranging the field…but they never miss a fielder.
Bookie : still u could bowl more no-balls. We got only 53 extras.
Warne : I asked all my bowlers to bowl badly. I also made Smith and Asnodkar bowl.
Bookie : Okay… leave that… I want u to loose the match.
Warne : I will try.
Bookie : Rajasthan Royals should be all out for 110
Warne : OK.
Bookie : bye.
Warne is ready to face the last over his cell rings (he plays with his cell).
Warne : hello
Bookie : its me! . What are you upto ?
Warne : We tried the best we could
Bookie : OK forget it. I want u to loose the match
Warne : what can I do. Fate !!! Agarkar is bowling
Bookie : I don’t know… u are loosing
Agarkar bowls… Warne tries to hide his bat behind his back. But the ball hits the bat and goes to third man. So they take a single.
(cell rings)
Warne : sorry what can I do I was hiding my bat but still the ball comes and hit my bat. If I play much worse than this everybody will find out.
Bookie : (gets really tensed). OK I can understand. But please don’t take last two runs.
Warne talks to Carseldine. Agarkar bowls… a juicy full toss. Carseldine uses all his batting skills to restrict that one to a single. Scores are level.
(cell rings)
Bookie : OK. Past is past. Atleast finish it in a tie. I don’t know what u are going to do u are not taking a single or u give u’r bat to the umpire.
Warne : OK. OK. Don’t worry this time I will! see to it we are not taking the single. Let it be obvious also. I am not taking the single.
Agarkar bowls, unfortunately he bowls a no ball. RR wins the match.
Bookie goes mad and Shane warne faints in the field itself.
Moral – With a team like KKR, who needs to fix a match
A bookie calls Shane Warne before the match between Kolkata KnightRiders and Rajasthan Royals.
Cell phone rings. Warne picks up.
Warne : hello
Bookie : I am ….... Here.
Warne : yes tell me
Bookie : how is the pitch
Warne : ya dry and good for batting
Bookie : I want u to loose today’s match
Warne : impossible
Bookie : I will pay u $200,000
Warne : will be difficult to make KKR win.
Bookie : I will pay u $250,000
Warne : May be I could help you by reducing the margin… u tell by what margin we should win… will be much more easier
Bookie : no KKR should win
Warne : OK. I will try my best
Bookie : no make it.
Warne : OK.
Bookie : what will be the score
Warne : 200, if we bat first
Bookie : no make it 120
Warne : Impossible. Agarkar and Kartik are playing.
Bookie : 120 no change.
Warne : I will try
Bookie : OK. If KKR bat first
Warne : 110
Bookie : no make it 175
Warne : no u are asking too much. Ganguli is playing.
Bookie : OK make it $300,000
Warne : This would be the toughest match in my life
Bookie : OK, deal is made.
Warne : yes
Bookie : bye.
Match starts KKR bats first. KKR score only 120 in 20 overs. During the lunch break Shane’s cell rings.
Warne : hello
Bookie : its me. why did KKR score only 120. Our deal was 175.
Warne : What can I do ? They run one when they could run three, defend full toss, get out on wide balls, all catches and shots… I mean, if there is any… exactly directed to the fielders. But I will tell you this, Knight Riders are too good at this , I tried re-arranging the field…but they never miss a fielder.
Bookie : still u could bowl more no-balls. We got only 53 extras.
Warne : I asked all my bowlers to bowl badly. I also made Smith and Asnodkar bowl.
Bookie : Okay… leave that… I want u to loose the match.
Warne : I will try.
Bookie : Rajasthan Royals should be all out for 110
Warne : OK.
Bookie : bye.
Rajasthan Royals bats. They are making a serious attempt to not hit the ball and if at all they hit trying their best to hit to the fielders. They try to run only singles for doubles. But sometimes, they can’t stop themselves from running. All Rajasthan Royals batsmen charged down to Kartik’s bowling and they purposely miss the ball hoping at least one would hit the stumps. But they got to run a bye for that as McCullum is still searching for the ball . Inspite of the bad display of batting, they score 118 of 19 overs. Last over, 3 runs required, the worst part is that its an Agarkar over. Warne is batting with Carseldine. Bookie gets really furious.
Warne is ready to face the last over his cell rings (he plays with his cell).
Warne : hello
Bookie : its me! . What are you upto ?
Warne : We tried the best we could
Bookie : OK forget it. I want u to loose the match
Warne : what can I do. Fate !!! Agarkar is bowling
Bookie : I don’t know… u are loosing
Agarkar bowls… Warne tries to hide his bat behind his back. But the ball hits the bat and goes to third man. So they take a single.
(cell rings)
Warne : sorry what can I do I was hiding my bat but still the ball comes and hit my bat. If I play much worse than this everybody will find out.
Bookie : (gets really tensed). OK I can understand. But please don’t take last two runs.
Warne talks to Carseldine. Agarkar bowls… a juicy full toss. Carseldine uses all his batting skills to restrict that one to a single. Scores are level.
(cell rings)
Bookie : OK. Past is past. Atleast finish it in a tie. I don’t know what u are going to do u are not taking a single or u give u’r bat to the umpire.
Warne : OK. OK. Don’t worry this time I will! see to it we are not taking the single. Let it be obvious also. I am not taking the single.
Agarkar bowls, unfortunately he bowls a no ball. RR wins the match.
Bookie goes mad and Shane warne faints in the field itself.
Moral – With a team like KKR, who needs to fix a match
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